2009-12-14

write_in_red: (Default)
2009-12-14 02:51 am

(no subject)

I never use this. Ever. I think the fact that no one I personally know, knows about this. I can write whatever I wish and the ones who usually judge my life can't say a thing about it; that's an attractive thought... I guess that makes writing, typing, positing...whatever...easier. I know that there is no way for word of my thoughts to reach those that they could hurt. Though that last thought begs the question, why do I care?

Life is different now. Life used to be simple, if you can believe that... Grow up; put in the obligatory years in high school; graduate; attend college; put in more obligatory years of schooling, possibly and in some cases most likely receiving a third rate education, graduate again, find a job, settle down, be a productive member of society. Yea, that seemed easy...till life crept in... Now I have completed most of those steps, but I dont' derive the pleasure I should from my achievements. Not to mention that in the last few years I have scratched the settle down options right off the list, in its place I have put survive.

Get up, go to work, breathe, do your job, go home, go to sleep...do it all over the next day. This isn't exactly how I pictured my life. I'm not sure what is more disappointing, the way my life turned out or the lack of drive I have to change it. Don't get me wrong, I am absolutely unsatisfied with my life right now, so I am endeavoring to change that. But even the changes I have put into motion won't take away the root of the problem...it won't take away the pain...