Count Down
Jun. 28th, 2010 03:04 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
write_in_redThe Count Down has started...I will be moving home to Oklahoma in 22 days and a wake-up. WOW. Now that the number is less than 30 I'm a little nervous.
Not sure why I'm moving home...ok. That's a lie. I'm moving home for a lot of reasons. Foremost being that I gave my family my word. I told them that I would stay up here after school for a year. If I didn't find a job or find someone to make me want to stay; then I would move home. Lease is up. J has been informed of D-Day and arrangements have been made...
I have to turn in my two weeks notice on Thursday...that's what really got me. I want to be closer to home for my family, but for me? I want to stay now. LoL. I'm so wishy washy. Well, ok. Not really. This has been on the books since I moved up here, but man, the realization that my live is getting ready to change irrevocably? Fuck. I am getting ready to move home to live with my G-ma, yea for rent free, try to find a better job. Worst part? I'm going to have to start all over. I am 24 years old. I have lived here since I was 18, that's 6 years. It's the longest I have lived in any one place my entire life...All of the friends I have made while I was learning who I am, as an adult, are all up here. I'm going to have to start over...color me terrified...
Anyway, count down has begun...damn it.
In other news, J is back from Vegas and visiting family and has returned home. Yea. Glad my Roommie is back. It was odd having the house to myself for so long. We went to a Pampered Chef party on Saturday, that was fun. :) Since I love to cook, going to a PC party makes me want to cook like crazy, as well as buy half the catalog. LoL. After the party we went through the car wash, and then came home to do the Spring cleaning. It was a bitch. No Lie. J's dog has long hair so he sheds more hair than the 4 of the women who live in the same house. It's crazy. Helped rearrange the living, when J didn't like it we put it back...pointless exercise... Especially since she warned me ahead of time that she wanted to move it, but it would end up in it's original layout. FML. Dusted, vacuumed, picked up, magic erasered off the marks on the walls, and changed out the light bulb in the hall way. Funny thing? J was going to call an electrician...for a light bulb change...what will she do without me?
J had a barbecue tonight, so that's why the huge need to Spring clean. Thank God Spring only comes once a year, and that I won't be around to do the Fall cleaning. F that. LoL.
So another week has come to a close. Joy of Joys. Can't sleep, though this time I do have a legitimate excuse. I took a nap today while it rained...best thing ever. I love when it rains. The only time I don't is when I'm wearing my boots. Rain is not conducive to cowboy boots, leather and all...
Truth time. I'm not only awake because I took nap. T called today. Said she had a hard time last night when someone asked her about Dad. She said she had to explain it like 4 times, because people kept coming in part way through the story. Apparently she had a total breakdown. I was like Fuck. She said one of her friends called one of her sorority sisters to come sit with her. The whole conversation, you know what stuck with me...other than the oddness of the timing, because I totally had my own little breakdown the night before, was her saying she was glad she had her friend there but that she kept telling people she needed her sister. So while I sometimes feel like I don't want to go home, I know I need to. Not just for T, but for me too. Two year mark is coming up...at least I'll be home before then.
OK! I will be positive! I cried and what not the other night. No need for a repeat so soon. What I will do is choose a fanfic from my list of SPN Big Bangs, enjoy a great story, and then go to sleep early enough for me to get at least 6 hours. I will! LoL. We'll see how that works.
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no subject
Date: 2010-06-29 10:06 am (UTC)You lost me at the last two paragraphs, but that's okay, since I don't know you that long. I could assume what you're talking about, but if you want - just give me a hint! *nods*
Well, I've never ever moved out of town. I live on my for longer than I can count, but not having my mom and my friends around would drive me crazy. Okay - my mom ALWAYS drives me crazy, but I love her that way. *g*
I guess it's the right time for you to find out what you really want and what's coming next. Living rent-free is a bonus, but more important is that you're on the same page with your granny.
I guess you'll miss J like crazy. And she will miss you even more, cause it seems you're like a janitor. *lol*
GO YOU!!!!!
♥ ♥ ♥
no subject
Date: 2010-06-30 12:23 am (UTC)Rent-free is amazing! I'm super excited about that. It means I can pay off my school loans and car quicker. My G-ma is the best thing ever! She is the heart and soul of our family. :) Love her to pieces.
Yea. Sorry bout the lost in the last two paragraphs. My dad passed away about 12 days before I got on the plane to head to England. It was pretty unexpected. We weren't crazy close, because my parents split up when I was young; but it killed me and my sister to lose him. I had people tell me that not being close probably made it easier for us; but they were so very wrong. T and I talked about it after I kept her from clocking the idiotic cousin. We both decided that not being very close only made it worse...being close would have been nice. Would have been nice to be secure in his love and all that shit.
We had a hard time...still having a hard time somedays. I had a lot of stuff to keep me busy right after it happened. I was in England, had a lot of trips already planned. Hardcore studying to do while there, had to keep my grades up. The next semester I was student teaching and busy for about 18 hours a day. I guess while I felt it, it didn't really sink in till after graduation. My immediate goals were finished and then I started to sink...sometime after Christmas. Struggled for a few months, but I'm doing better. Talking to my sister more often, spending more time with my friends, working on being happy. I was upset a lot, but I decided that I have to choose to be happy. So that's what I'm doing now. Being Happy. :)
*hugs*
Hope you're having sweet dreams!
♥
no subject
Date: 2010-06-30 07:03 am (UTC)So sad to hear about your dad. Actually something similar happened four years ago with my dad. He'd already one pulmonary embolism - and after that he lost a little bit of himself. You know- men who always get anything done by theirselves and THEN have to find out that even mow the lawn is too much of work. *sigh*
Well. I loved my dad to pieces. Even if we always had to fight about anything. But he was the one who actually raised me. He even explained the facts of life to me. *muahahah*
So, anything was fine - at least we thought so... until I got an unexpected phone call from my mom. And trust me. I'll never ever get something like that again...
He died peacefully in his sleep. At least that's what they told me.
Sorry for rambling - it's just that I totally get you. I always complain about my mom - cause she isn't the independent woman on earth - but we clicked after my dad's death. We'd to!
And talking about family. I have an four and a half years younger brother - we get along, but we have nothing in common. I see him and his fiance a few times the year, but that's it.
It's great that your G-ma is such a lovely person. You'll have the time of your life! *g* And YES - you deserve to be happy. But as always: you're the one who has to realize it. No one else can tell you how to be happy... but I'm quite sure you're on your right way.
Wow.
You're the best way to train my English writing. *muahaha* I wrote almost a novella.
LOVE AND KISSES!!!
<333
no subject
Date: 2010-07-03 05:15 am (UTC)It's good that you and your mom are closer now. My sister and I are a lot closer. I miss T. LoL. She is like my other half...we finish each others sentences, and we know what each other is thinking with just a look, we get each other. She is one of my best friends. I'm glad I'm going to be closer; but I'm also glad we won't be living in the same house...lol...we're close when we have separate spaces to cohabit. We need the space to be close...lol...that's an oxymoron...
Yup! My G-Ma is the best thing ever. She would do anything for anyone of us. We all know it. :) She's also a bit of a push over...lol...which endeared her to us when we were kids and wanted to go to the movies...lol... :)
I'm glad chatting with me is being helpful. :) I have to say, you're becoming one of my favorite people. :) You always make me smile. So thanks for that. :)
Love and Hugs back!
♥
Have a good weekend!
no subject
Date: 2010-07-06 08:24 am (UTC)LIKEWISE!
LOL
Yep. I get it. I love my mom to pieces and we get along more than fine, but I'd kill myself if I'd to live with her in the same house. *ggg*
How many days left until you'll move? And what about a farewell party? I love those things, even if I always cry like a baby. It's sad to leave friends behind. Usually you'll promise to write and call - but "yout of sight, out of mind". Hopefully that won't happen to you! *crosses all fingers and toes*
smooches
no subject
Date: 2010-07-07 09:03 am (UTC):)
I love my Mum but somedays I briefly consider matricide...briefly...lol...I'm such a terrible daughter. Though I am sure there are days my Mum wonders why she didn't drown both my sister and me at birth...especially when we're together...he he he
I officially have 12 days and a wake up. I am headed home on the 20th. It shall be an adventure.
♥